Lately I've been on an art and design kick. I think for the most part it's because work is just so monotonously routine, and I don't really have a chance to express myself creatively at work. As the years creep up on me, I've become of late somewhat reflective of the years that have passed, and how I want the years ahead to be, and what steps I need to be making to be where I want to be.
The life I live at present is a comfortable life. I don't worry too much about the roof over my head or whether I'll have enough to eat. For the next thirty years, I could probably continue what I've been doing for the last eight years and make a decent living at it, but I think I'd feel very empty about it. The old biblical quote "For what does a man profit, if he should gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul?" rings clearly in my mind. What I do now wasn't supposed to be a career. There's a part of me that says if they want to pay me for dealing with computer problems, I'm more than happy to take their money, but at the same time, I get the feeling that in doing work, I am selling what is a precious commodity -- time -- for what seems like too low a price.
I decided to go to ART 1 at SJSU yesterday evening. ART 1 is kind of the class that I wish I had taken my first semester at Cal. Part orientation for new students, part reality check in relation to how hard one must work to succeed in the program as well as in the real-world applications of a degree in art. One theme seemed to echo in last night's lecture: Hard work and persistence are the keys to becoming successful, not just in the program, but in life.
Would it be a mistake to hit the restart-button? To essentially wipe out 12 years of education and experience in a field and start over completely? There's an opportunity cost associated with it as well -- 4 more years of school, and I will be further behind than if I just stayed the course, which of course means working even longer to catch up where I would have been. Of course, I can think of many times where staying the course is the foolish thing to do.
sigh.
mike, i want to tell you to slam that reset button as hard as you can, and to chase your deepest aspirations. we live once, and you never, in hindsight, want to look back and say, what if. those questions will kill you more than actual failures you have experienced.
but, given my recent findings of my lack of success into my own personal daydreams, i am hesitant to advise others to do the same. i almost feel as if the golden cloud i was sailing on has dissipated.
i can tell you this -- chase your dreams and your desires if you can deal with the possibility that some day you my regret your decision to leave technology and if you can possibly face less security and the knowledge that you *chose* this lack of security. the actual obstacles you face are not what you need to fear -- those you can overcome with (as you said) hard work and persistence, but what will hurt you more is the deliberation of the other paths you could have taken (e.g., if i had stayed in technology, would i have had it easier... if i had stayed in tech, would i have had to feel this novice, etc.) if you think you can face those inner demons, i would say go for it. there can be no regret in doing something you sincerely and honestly need, and doing it with the utmost integrity and passion.
i would say that try dipping your toes in first....
some of the earlier classes are definitely easy to take one at a time concurrently with work. take the evening classes or shift work hours so that you can take some other class... but really, i wouldn't just jump into without knowing for sure. after all... i took another year of art classes before i decided for sure to go for a second bachelors in it. and i gave myself that year to try it out and see how i like it keeping the option of going back to the med school track open.
i'm projecting 4.5-5.5 years for a second bachelors... *sigh*